I have probably written a number of blogs on why children should be removed from conflict. I recently read an article on the web page of the American Psychological Association entitled “An overview of the Psychological Literature on the Effects of Divorce on Children”. Whilst it relates to the effect of divorce on children it goes further and describes the outcomes of inappropriate behaviour and conflict by parents during divorce.
A particularly poignant paragraph of the article reads – “The manner in which parents resolve conflict has been determined to affect child adjustment. Chronic, unresolved conflict is associated with greater emotional insecurity in children. Fear, distress, and other symptoms in children are diminished when parents resolve their conflicts and when they use compromise and negotiation methods rather than verbal attacks. The beneficial effects of these more resolution-oriented behaviors have been reported whether or not they are directly observed by the child.”
It’s clear that conflict and children don’t mix. There is a right and wrong way for parents to behave during divorce. If you can’t resolve parenting arrangements or for that matter, financial arrangements, between yourselves then see a professional mediator first. Mediation resolves conflict and when it works Mediation (family dispute resolution) works well. As I have said many times: You have nothing to lose by engaging in mediation but much to gain – your children deserve it.
You can read the full article on the American Psychological Association website here.
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The aim of my blog is to increase public awareness of the availability of mediation and the alternatives to litigation that are available to everyone should they choose to do so.